Saturday, June 13 · 11am – 1pm ET

Do you ever wonder why there are so many extreme opinions and theories circulating? The apparent confusion CAN be understood for greater peace, and we will talk about how to do that.

Is it hard (or very hard) to speak with a person whose views are different from yours? And that is not only about politics: it could be differences you find in religious attitudes, parenting beliefs, attitudes towards law enforcement, and many other topics.

You may or may not directly experience the polarization that is going on, but at the least you have seen the divisions expressed in our American society, and really throughout the Western world.

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I want to offer insight into the roots of these divisions, as well as what seem to be totally illogical or unexplainable views. This relates to childhood experience, the influence of adult society, and other important factors.

This webinar will expose and explore the roots that are rarely seen but that are very, very important for gaining understanding and finding solutions.

Here is some more detail, but more important, this will be presented and discussed on Saturday:

Our temperament and the influence of the family and social environments we grew up in, tend to stay with us.

The family we grew up in never fully leaves us, but we can change and improve through our efforts. And we influence the world through the messages we carry and through the understanding we learn during our lives. We bring our full selves into the world every day, and we help shape society.

As a child, we learn many things. How to handle conflict. How to express love, how to handle anger, and how to express wanting connection with another person. We have unspoken rules about what is safe to say and when we have to stay quiet.

We carry all of it — into our marriages, our friendships, our workplaces, and perhaps most consequentially, into the families we build ourselves. Most of us are doing the best we can with what we were given. And most of us, at some point, find ourselves wanting to give something different, to expand our options to be better than what was given to us.

This workshop is for anyone who has ever thought seriously about what it means to be a more conscious, healthy influence on other people in their lives — whether you're raising them, living with them, or encountering them just once.

* This webinar is held on Zoom. Registration is easy; a Zoom link is emailed after registering *

We will look at what it actually means to model the values we want to pass on, especially in a time when the world outside our homes is sending so many competing messages. This includes answering one of the more pressing questions of this particular moment: when we encounter people — including people we love — who seem to have moved toward ideas we find harmful or confusing, what is the most skillful and useful way to respond?

In this interactive webinar you'll explore:

• How our earliest experiences shape our habitual responses — and how unfolding awareness can change them
• What conscious influence actually on others looks like in practice
• The difference between the values we hold and the values we model — and how to close that gap
• How to stay in genuine relationship with people whose worldviews feel foreign or even alarming
• Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a practical tool for the hardest family and social conversations

This workshop is an exploration of how we became who we are, and how that understanding opens up more freedom in who we get to be for the people around us as adults!

About David

David B. Alexander is a licensed psychotherapist based in Roslyn Heights, NY, with a practice that draws on principles of gestalt therapy, existential therapy, and Nonviolent Communication, as well as drawing on decades of Zen Buddhist and Tai Chi Chuan practice and teaching.

He has guided individuals, couples, and leaders through the challenges that we all face in experiencing a better life despite what are felt as external setbacks or our own mental blocks. He brings to this work not just clinical expertise, but the kind of depth that only comes from a lifetime of practice and a life fully lived.

Psychotherapy sessions are available online across New York State, and in person in Roslyn Heights, NY. A free 15-minute consultation is available for those curious about individual or couples therapy. All inquiries are confidential.

Saturday, September 19 · 11am – 1pm ET · For other events, go to this page

All of us are meant, eventually, to be leaders, and in some aspects of our lives we are leaders from the moment of birth. When an infant cries, she or he is trying at a visceral level to lead others to respond in a way that helps the infant and makes "the world" (as the infant experiences it) better.

How do we respond as adults to different strategies that others use to lead? And how do WE lead when we are in a position of leadership? How do we lead even when others do not call us a "leader" officially?

Issues we will explore include "power with" vs. "power over", ideas of protection vs. punishment, and the strength of vulnerability along with empowerment.

About David

David B. Alexander is a licensed psychotherapist based in Roslyn Heights, NY, with a practice that draws on principles of gestalt therapy, existential therapy, and Nonviolent Communication, as well as drawing on decades of Zen Buddhist and Tai Chi Chuan practice and teaching.

He has guided individuals, couples, and leaders through the challenges that we all face in experiencing a better life despite what are felt as external setbacks or our own mental blocks. He brings to this work not just clinical expertise, but the kind of depth that only comes from a lifetime of practice and a life fully lived.

Psychotherapy sessions are available online across New York State, and in person in Roslyn Heights, NY. A free 15-minute consultation is available for those curious about individual or couples therapy. All inquiries are confidential.

Saturday, October 10 · 11am – 1pm ET · For other events, go to this page

Most of us know karma as, basically, the concept that our thoughts and actions have consequences, whether immediately or at some future time. Although that statement captures the basic principle of karma, there is significantly more to karma than that.

Another important teaching is the Four Immeasurables, which can be seen as a solution for creating good karma, leading to liberation. To find our true freedom we need to use our higher capacities as human beings, which help us break free from limitations. Actions that are "clean", and do not create bad karma, help us toward our own and others' liberation.

Our higher capacities allow us to cultivate a mind that frees itself from following past negative karma, gradually breaking those chains. By connecting to one's unlimited mind rather than to the narrow mind, we can help free ourselves and others from painful complications in living.

During and after the presentation we will discuss and practice these principles, and enjoy community.

About David

David B. Alexander is a licensed psychotherapist who has practiced Zen since 1970 — studying with teachers at the New York Zen Center in the '70s and '80s, and more recently, active at Zen Mountain Monastery in Mt. Tremper, NY. He has been personally encouraged to offer public teachings by Enkyo Roshi (Pat O'Hara) of Village Zendo and Zen Master Wu Kwang (Richard Shrobe) of Chogye Zen Center.

He is also a 40+ year practitioner and teacher of Tai Chi Chuan, and a licensed psychotherapist whose clinical work draws on principles of gestalt therapy, existential therapy, and Nonviolent Communication.

When David teaches Zen, he isn't translating something he read. He is sharing something he has lived.

Psychotherapy sessions are available online across New York State, and in person in Roslyn Heights, NY. A free 15-minute consultation is available for those curious about individual or couples therapy. All inquiries are confidential.

Saturday, November 14 · 11am – 1pm ET · For other events, go to this page

There is a deep connection between William Blake's worldview and the worldview of Zen Buddhism. Our human experience of Truth does not belong to only one cultural heritage, geography, or time; it belongs to all human beings and it is our potential to discover for ourselves.

Zen is concerned with finding the original, clear self and expressing our wholeness and energy in everyday life. There are many writings about how to find and live that original, clear self.

In his work, Blake portrayed the human being as ultimately what he called Albion, which represent the original human before our timeless fall from a fully healthy and integrated state of being.

Both Zen and the works of William Blake are pointing to the inner freedom and harmony that we each have in a fundamental way, but that we need to discover for ourselves.

More details

William Blake portrayed in striking and unique ways his understanding and experience of what our human nature is, and what our potential is. But why should we care about that?

What stands out is the deep connection between William Blake's worldview, and the worldview of Zen Buddhism. What this connection points out is that the truth does not belong to only one cultural heritage; it belongs to all human beings and is our potential to discover for ourselves.

Buddhism looks directly at that true self in all its expressions, and in many places Buddhism points out that its teaching is about understanding and living fully our human nature, and is not about a dogma.

About David

The teacher and facilitator, David B. Alexander, is a licensed psychotherapist. He studied William Blake's poetry and art while in high school in the 1960s. Since then he has re-read and studied many of those poems and artworks, as well as biographies and analyses of Blake and his works. This has led to understanding the natural connection between Blake's expression and the intuitive understanding that is fundamental to Zen.

David has practiced Zen since 1970, with teachers at the New York Zen Center in the 1970s and 1980s, and most recently has been active at the Zen Mountain Monastery in Mt. Tremper, NY. He has been encouraged to offer public Zen talks by both Enkyo-Roshi (Pat O'Hara) of Village Zendo and Zen Master Wu Kwang (Richard Shrobe) of Chogye Zen Center.

In psychotherapy work, he uses gestalt therapy, psychoanalysis, existential therapy, and nonviolent communication to support individuals, couples, and leaders.

Psychotherapy sessions are available online across New York State, and in person in Roslyn Heights, NY. A free 15-minute consultation is available for those curious about individual or couples therapy. All inquiries are confidential.

Saturday, December 12 · 11am – 1pm ET · For other events, go to this page

Daily life often consists of small and fairly simple interactions that keep things running smoothly or at least meet the needs of the moment.

In addition to those simple interactions, there are the conversations that involve important and perhaps challenging content: hurt, anger, and even feelings of love and emotional intimacy, which can all be difficult to bring up, or to fully take in when offered by another person.

And yet, these same, somewhat raw conversations provide the opportunity for deeper mutual connection, as well as supporting one's own well-being and vitality.

Topics for discussion will include:

• The benefits of expression vs. silence: bring more life to your life

• Handling anger well

• Handling affection and empathy well

• Reframing the conversation: realizing that the negative is fundamentally based on a positive

• "Good" words / "bad" words: which words and phrases create more conflict, and which heal

We invite all participants to bring in their own real-life questions and challenges around the above topics, or other topics related to "difficult conversations."

About David

David B. Alexander teaches effective and enjoyable communication to individuals and couples, as well as to executives and business owners, so that they can thrive in the social and working world in which we all live. A primary focus for his communication work is an approach called Nonviolent Communication, or "NVC".

NVC emphasizes authenticity in communication, but authenticity based on an empathetic understanding of self and others. NVC expression can be loud or quiet, diplomatic or direct, but is always intended to benefit all parties who are involved.

As a licensed psychotherapist, David also finds value in gestalt therapy principles, existential therapy, and modern psychoanalytic understanding. These are all approaches towards awakening for a fulfilling life.

In addition to psychotherapy work, he has been studying Zen since the age of 20 and Tai Chi Chuan since the age of 25, and has been teaching Tai Chi Chuan since the early 1990s.

Psychotherapy sessions are available online across New York State, and in person in Roslyn Heights, NY. A free 15-minute consultation is available for those curious about individual or couples therapy. All inquiries are confidential.