Events: free, interactive webinars

Communication, Including Nonviolent Communication

In these interactive presentations and workshops led by David B. Alexander, LP, we will study and experience importance aspects of communication and relationships.

We will also apply insightful and compassionate communication to issues or questions that the attendees bring in. If there are no issues or questions brought by attendees, the facilitator will provide sample situations for discussion.

As a psychotherapist, David has seen the value of these principles and has guided numerous couples and individuals to improve the quality of their communication and their relationships.

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Modern Zen and Buddhism

Zen and Buddhism are, in essence, the same topic. Zen is known for its more concise expression, while the original Buddhist teachings discuss, with great care and detail, human nature and how to transform suffering. Each has its place!

Most important is helping reduce suffering in today's world, through wisdom and compassion attuned to the realities and choices of daily life.

As a long-time practitioner of Zen, David B. Alexander presents and discusses the meaning of this ancient teaching for each of us today. Zen and Buddhism are the study of and the connection with our true selves.

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Upcoming events: all categories

  • Saturday, January 18 · 11am EST (1h 30m)

    Expressing ourselves from a deep place is rewarding in so many ways. Yet it can be hard to express affection, for reasons suc…

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    Expressing ourselves from a deep place is rewarding in so many ways. Yet it can be hard to express affection, for reasons such as fear of rejection or fear of becoming committed beyond the comfort zone. And it can be hard to express frustration or anger, for reasons such as fear of alienating the other or fear of doing harm.

    Our inner urges and wishes often may not match what we are able to express. But with good communication skills, we can start to see a path that avoids the fears and lack of clarity mentioned above.

    Join this interactive, free monthly workshop dedicated to improving on important relationships and your own awareness and well-being.

    There is no single formula for good communication. However, when we are genuine with other people, it encourages authenticity, and people start to truly understand and appreciate each other's feelings and needs. And by expressing from a deeper level, we start to understand ourselves better, as well. All of that leads to more fulfilling relationships, an ability to work out solutions when there is disagreement and conflict, and a better, realistic sense of self-esteem.

    The event is facilitated by David B. Alexander, LP. In it, we will apply Nonviolent Communication to issues or questions that the attendees bring in, and David will facilitate the dialogue. If there are not enough issues or questions brought by attendees, there will be sample situations provided for discussion.

    Nonviolent Communication is an approach to communication and relationships that is based on empathic connection, but that also provides a clear description and understanding of what kinds of communication help bring more joy and vitality into life, and what kinds of communication prolong conflict or separation.

    The word "violent" in so-called violent communication indicates that there are subtle or not-so-subtle kinds of communication that tend to cause alienation between people. Violent communication can be any words, actions, silence, or inaction that disrupts empathic connection between people, while nonviolent communication is a win/win kind of communication that brings people together.

    As a psychotherapist, David has seen the great value of these principles, and has guided numerous couples and individuals to improve the quality of their communication and their relationships.

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    Note: if any attendee does not wish to join in the discussion, but prefers to observe and absorb, that preference will be respected.

    The workshop meeting will take place online via Zoom. The meeting can be joined via ordinary phone, but for a full experience use of a computer will allow seeing all participants more easily.

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  • Saturday, February 8 · 11am EST (2h)

    Join me for an online, interactive introduction to Zen and Buddhism: the Middle WayFour Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, and T…

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    Join me for an online, interactive introduction to Zen and Buddhism: the Middle WayFour Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, and Three Treasures. We will also discuss how to integrate the wisdom and energy of Zen and Buddhism into modern life. There is no fee for this event.

    The lotus flower rises invisibly through mud and muddy water, and opens up pure and clean despite its history and surroundings. If we can keep on the right path while in the middle of activity and challenges, we can finally drop struggles of the past and live a life of true freedom and compassion.

    The topics include a basic short history of Buddhism, primary principles (see below), the impact of Zen, and integration with modern life.

    The principles and concepts that are covered are:

    The Middle Way: a crucial piece of understanding for maintaining one's balance and staying on a healthy and effective path towards self-knowledge.

    The Four Noble Truths: these address the root meaning of Buddhism: an understanding that life not lived well is ultimately full of inadequacy and pain, but that with a right understanding and effort, we move towards being free of suffering, while helping life on this planet be more humane and awakened.

    The Eightfold Path: addresses in a specific manner the key components for living the best possible life, a life that benefits self and others, that reduces suffering, and that leads to liberation.

    The Three Treasures: concerns the elements that support following the path towards awakening and liberation.


    We will also examine the direct expression used in Zen and how it captures the emotion and wisdom of life without using religious references, and will talk about how to see Zen and Buddhism as a modern teaching.

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    The teacher, David B. Alexander, has practiced Zen since 1970, with teachers at the New York Zen Center in the 1970s and 1980s, and most recently has been active at the Zen Mountain Monastery in Mt. Tremper, NY. He has also been practicing and teaching Tai Chi Chuan, a mind / body practice, since 1978, and is an active psychotherapist using gestalt therapy, psychoanalysis, and nonviolent communication in his work with individuals and couples.

    Note: if any attendee does not wish to join in the discussion after the presentation, but prefers to observe and absorb, that preference will be respected.

    The webinar meeting will take place online via Zoom. The webinar can be joined via ordinary phone, but for a full experience use of a computer will allow observing other attendees and those who are speaking.

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  • Saturday, February 22 · 11am EST (1h 30m)

    Join this interactive, free monthly workshop dedicated to improving on important relationships and your own awareness and wel…

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    Join this interactive, free monthly workshop dedicated to improving on important relationships and your own awareness and well-being.

    How can you give honest feedback and still keep a good relationship? What if your partner asks you "Do I look good in this shirt?" and you think "No". If a friend has started a business and invested a lot of time and money into it, but you feel it is a bad idea, what do you say, if anything?

    The goal in good communication is that all parties in the process can feel seen and heard, and come out with a stronger, positive connection to others. But honesty is a consideration that can complicate that process. William Blake said "A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent."

    The event is facilitated by David B. Alexander, LP. In it, we will apply Nonviolent Communication to issues or questions that the attendees bring in, and David will facilitate the dialogue. If there are not enough issues or questions brought by attendees, there will be sample situations provided for discussion.

    Violent communication can show itself in subtle ways that are hardly noticed, so the word "violent" might be surprising. However, the theme is that violent communication tends to disrupt empathy and relationships, while nonviolent communication is a win/win kind of communication that brings people together.

    Nonviolent Communication is an approach to communication and relationships that is based on empathic connection, but that also provides a clear description and understanding of what kinds of communication help bring more joy and vitality into life, and what kinds of communication prolong conflict or separation.

    As a psychotherapist, David has seen the great value of these principles, and has guided numerous couples and individuals to improve the quality of their communication and their relationships.

    **********************

    Note: if any attendee does not wish to join in the discussion, but prefers to observe and absorb, that preference will be respected.

    The workshop meeting will take place online via Zoom. The meeting can be joined via ordinary phone, but for a full experience use of a computer will allow seeing all participants more easily.

    Read less
    View more
  • Saturday, March 8 · 11am EST (1h 30m)

    William Blake portrayed, in striking and unique ways, his understanding and experience of what our human nature is, and what …

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    William Blake portrayed, in striking and unique ways, his understanding and experience of what our human nature is, and what our potential is. There is a large amount of commonality between Blake's work and the teachings of Zen Buddhism. They both focus on knowing ourselves fully, rather than seeking an external source for wisdom or spirituality.

    This (free) interactive webinar, taking place on Saturday August 3rd from 11am to 12:30pm ET, will examine some key quotes and art from William Blake and quotes from Zen tradition, and how Zen and William Blake relate to our human potential.

    William Blake portraitBorn in England in November 1757, William Blake was never financially successful but always, barely, kept a roof over his head and that of his beloved wife Catherine. He had apprenticed for seven years in engraving and was self-taught in poetry.

    Blake used his engraving, painting, and illustration skills to earn a bare-bones living, primarily through commissions for work from close friends and followers who believed in his genius. He never reached a larger-scale popularity or recognition during his life.

    Pity rescuing a childIn his work, Blake portrayed the human being as ultimately what he called Albion, which is an ancient name for the island Britain. For Blake, "Albion" was the original man before the mythological, timeless fall from a healthy and integrated state of being.

    The four capacities that have become fragmented from each other are sensation, intellect, desire / love, and imagination. Due to the fragmentation, the capacities are conflicted and are imbalanced in expression, resulting in a lack of fulfillment of the individual's potential.

    Carl Jung spoke similarly of mental capacities of sensation, thinking, feeling, and intuition. Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott pointed out that real progress in psychotherapy occurs when the client grasps a new insight in a manner that unites intellect and emotion.

    Blake himself emphasized uniting and freeing the four capacities to act as one in an integrated, liberated human being and society. The result is experience and expression of the individual's and humankind's native ability to experience, think, love, and create in productive ways.

    Huineng, the sixth patriarch in China of ZenIn this session we will examine and discuss several key quotes and artworks from William Blake, and explore their universal meaning, and how they relate to Zen teachings as pointers to an inspired understanding and experience of life.

    From Huineng, the sixth patriarch in China of Zen, in seemingly simple words:

    "Just be true, and there are no barriers."

    From Blake's "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell":

    "If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite."

     

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  • Saturday, March 22 · 11am EDT (1h 30m)

    Join this interactive, free monthly workshop dedicated to improving on important relationships and your own awareness and wel…

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    Join this interactive, free monthly workshop dedicated to improving on important relationships and your own awareness and well-being.

    What if you have been having a good time recently with your partner, or your child or parent? How do you express that? What if someone in your life takes a chance and is vulnerable (doing something with which they are not comfortable but that is positive) with you? How do you respond to fully support the moment of their sharing?

    The goal in good communication is that all parties in the process can feel seen and heard, and come out with a stronger, positive connection to others.

    The event is facilitated by David B. Alexander, LP. In it, we will discuss and experiences the principles and examples of good communication. We will also apply the Nonviolent Communication approach to issues or questions that the attendees bring in, and David will facilitate the dialogue. If there are not enough issues or questions brought by attendees, there will be sample situations provided for discussion.

    So-called "violent" communication can show itself in subtle ways that are hardly noticed, so the word "violent" might be surprising. However, the meaning is that violent communication is any communication which tends to disrupt empathy and relationships, while nonviolent communication is a win / win kind of communication that brings people together.

    Nonviolent Communication is an approach to communication and relationships that is based on empathic connection, but that also provides a clear description and understanding of what kinds of communication help bring more joy and vitality into life, and what kinds of communication prolong conflict or separation.

    As a psychotherapist, David has seen the great value of these principles, and has guided numerous couples and individuals to improve the quality of their communication and their relationships.

    **********************

    Note: if any attendee does not wish to join in the discussion, but prefers to observe and absorb, that preference will be respected.

    The workshop meeting will take place online via Zoom. The meeting can be joined via ordinary phone, but for a full experience use of a computer will allow seeing all participants more easily.

    Read less
    View more
  • Saturday, April 26 · 11am EDT (1h 30m)

    Most of us know karma as, basically, the concept that our thoughts and actions have consequences, whether immediately or at s…

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    Most of us know karma as, basically, the concept that our thoughts and actions have consequences, whether immediately or at some future time. Although that statement captures the basic principle of karma, there is significantly more to karma than that.

    Another important teaching is the Four Immeasurables, which can be seen as a solution for creating good karma, leading to liberation. To find our true freedom we need to use our higher capacities as human beings, which help us break free from limitations. Actions that are "clean", and do not create bad karma, help us toward our own and others' liberation.

    Our higher capacities allow us to cultivate a mind that frees itself from following past negative karma, gradually breaking those chains. By connecting to one's unlimited mind rather than to the narrow mind, we can help free ourselves and others from painful complications in living.

    During and after the presentation we will discuss and practice these principles, and enjoy community.

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    The teacher, David B. Alexander, has practiced Zen and studied with leading teachers for more decades than he would like to declare. With approval from recognized Zen masters, he is offering these talks on Zen and Buddhism.

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  • Saturday, May 3 · 11am EDT (2h)

    Good communication makes for more enjoyable and enduring relationships, and more personal fulfillment. In this webinar, David…

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    Good communication makes for more enjoyable and enduring relationships, and more personal fulfillment. In this webinar, David B. Alexander, LP (licensed psychotherapist) will present some of the primary principles of Nonviolent Communication, and their application in daily life. After the presentation, there will be time for questions and answers. Discussion will also be invited as a way to engage those attending in a more direct way. See some testimonials below.

    This will be an enriching, safe opportunity for learning how to deepen relationships of all kinds through better communication, including through authenticity towards oneself, achieving more often the results we desire.

    As a psychotherapist, David has seen the value of these principles, and has guided numerous couples and individuals to improve the quality of their communication and their relationships.

    Topics that will be covered include:

    • Compassion vs. Labeling and Judgment

    • Observation vs. Diagnosis and Evaluation

    • Listening With Empathy

    • Feelings, Needs, and Requests

    • Liberation From Our Internal Programming

    There will also be interactive exercises allowing participants to share connection with each other while becoming more aware of their own ability to communicate more fully.

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    David's workshop on Non-violent Communication was insightful, practical and interactive. I especially appreciated the time he took to listen to and respond to people's real-life communication challenges. Practical and thoughtful workshop especially relevant in today's turbulent times.

    ~ Terre Passero, President, Mindful Stress Management

    I recently attended one of the online webinars hosted by this amazing psychotherapist and speaker. I was blown away by the depth of knowledge and wisdom that was shared during the session. I highly recommend attending one of his sessions in the future, you will not be disappointed!

    ~ Andrey Volodin, doctoral student and software engineer

    I enjoyed every minute of the webinar. Your discussion of the important issues was very informative, useful and helpful. Your encouragement of us, the attendees, to participate and express our opinion was very valuable. I highly appreciate your professionalism, knowledge, experience, courtesy and patience.

    The atmosphere at the meeting was very friendly and kind. I believe, no one (including myself) was uncomfortable in sharing the personal story(ies) and concerns. I further believe, that under your amazing guidance and leadership in the discussion, we all benefited from this meeting. Great job, David!

    Thank you very much, and I look forward to your meetings in the future.

    ~ Olga Ruh, Attorney

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    Note: if any attendee does not wish to join in the discussion after the presentation, but prefers to observe and absorb, that preference will be respected.

    The webinar meeting will take place online via Zoom. The webinar can be joined via ordinary phone, but for a full experience use of a computer will allow observing other attendees and those who are speaking.

    Read less
    View more

Other Resources for a better, more aware life

Escaping From Freedom

Free ebook

In times of division and loss of understanding ("How can 'those people' believe in that?"), we need to look more closely, with an open mind and heart.

This 19-page ebook builds on the insights of Erich Fromm's iconic 1941 book Escape From Freedom, with updated observations by psychoanalyst David B. Alexander.

Make sense of and find peace in today's world through better understanding. See the table of contents, and download your copy.

GET IT NOW

Learn Tai Chi Chuan Short Form

Classes in Long Island and NYC

Improve your well-being and vitality. You can do this through Tai Chi Chuan practiced with its full historical meaning and benefits.

It is a martial art and a practice benefiting well-being and physical health. Those active in music and dance performance have also reported important improvements.

Tai Chi Chuan helps our brain free itself from unwanted tensions, promoting an ability to respond productively, compassionately, and with much less stress in life's daily activities.

Inquiries by advanced students are welcome.

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